Public Figure Levi Johnston Creates a Facebook Page for Us

Levi has a new tat. The very day he and Sunny learned they would have a daughter, he went and got her name, "Breeze" on his left bicept in the same script as the tatoo he got one year ago on the other one.  The name was Sunny's pick.  Levi is consistent, Tripp was Bristol's idea, or so they say. 

Last year, Levi got "Tripp" inked on his arm and showed it off when he was interviewed for his birthday celebration in Las Vegas. It wasn't his real birthday, and he was feeling pretty phony-something he shared in "Deer in the Headlights."  His  discomfort is evident in the video taken before the public celebration for which he was paid $20,000.  Levi needed the money. He wasn't having fun, he was earning a paycheck. It's what he does - sell himself.

The interviewer is, IMHO, a jerk.  The YouTube clip begins with this awkward exchange. 

Interviewer:  "Say, Bon jour Las Vegas." 

Levi says it. 

Interviewer: "Do you know what the means?"

Levi: "No.... Do I look like... whatever that is?"

Now, maybe I'm just lucky to have had a good public education, but it amazes me that a 21 year old in the USA doesn't know "hello" in French.  And maybe a couple other languages, too. Sorry, guess I'm a snob. 

But, it gets worse. The interviewer takes a sleazy turn, IMHO, and tries to make something out of Levi being in Sin City and leaving Sunny behind.  He asks how Sunny feels about Levi's birthday bash. 

"I'm pretty sure she's not very, ah, stoked about it, but," Levi shrugs, "you know it's kinda what I do. She knew who I was before she started dating me,   and you know, I'll be faithful to her so she doesn't have anything to worry about."

So now we know what Levi does.  "This is what I do," he said. Well that's a long way from his childhood dream of being an NHL star. 

I can't help it, I find that very sad. And look in his eyes - he's sad.  

But now it's a year later. A full year later and another trip to the tatoo parlor, this time he got some pink ink worked in,  You can see it on Levi's new Facebook page that he opened last week:

That’s a Levi Johnston Facebook page opened seven days ago. Thirty-three people “like” it so far, but I’m not one of them.

Only four years ago this guy was a self-proclaimed redneck whose MySpace page said he didn’t want kids.  He wasn’t  really a MySpace user, he said many times, including in his memoir, that the page was put up by his friends.  That fits the Levi Johnston image, he doesn’t seem computer savvy at all.

But  look at this Facebook page - blatant pandering to those of us who have chosen “team Levi” over the darkside.  We are supposed to be giddy over another out-of-wedlock Wasillian. I don’t know about you, but I’m not feeling all warm and fuzzy about this. 

In my novel, I have a character named Wrangler.  He’s got things in common with Levi. Not an exact match, because my characters are not the Johnstons or the Palins. This is the perfect place to restate my disclaimer :

White Trash in the Snow is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.  Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Wrangler is a figment of my imagination and I treat him sympathetically. If I were to write about Levi Johnston circa 2012, I can’t say with certainty how sympathetic I would be.  Just sayin’. I mean, obviously  his life right now is about the new baby. What makes this new baby newsworthy?  How could Levi and Sunny sell this news? The answer is easy. Tripp!  A half-sister for Tripp Johnston gave Levi something to market, and to market he went. First, he got money to announce that he’d knocked up another teenager. Yes, Sunny Rae was 19 when she went to the cabin with Levi and they “forgot” to bring birth control.  Then Levi and his current baby-mama got paid again for the revelation of the baby’s name. Remember what Levi said one year ago? It hasn't changed. Fathering babies, getting their names tattooed on his body and selling interviews  is how he makes his living. 

Levi hasn’t finished High School. He hasn’t gotten a GED. He hasn’t gotten a job. His adult life began with early fatherhood, which, for most people is a job without pay, and 99.9% of his income since has been a derivative of that miracle moment when his ejaculation discovered the awaiting egg. 

He started out on the more traditional path, working a blue-collar job on Alaska’s north slope, and lost it when his son was less than a month old. (Or was he just over a month old? That depends - in which pages in his book was Levi telling the truth? Maybe there's a good reason Sunny hasn't read Deer in the Headlights. But here at the Palin Place, those details about that have been explored before. 

Why do we think Levi would oppose Tripp being used in a television show? Exactly what evidence is there to support that belief?  I would argue that Levi defines himself as a media personality, a public figure, and is quite comfortable with his three- year -old son being in the spotlight. Remember, if that kid isn’t news, neither is Levi.

Tripp and Bristol get a reality show and Cha-ching! Levi begins marketing Breeze even before she's born. Something doesn't feel right about all this. It's got Palin written all over it, but not Johnston. Not the original Levi Johnston. But somewhere along the way, I think we lost him.

Prior to McCain’s invitation to run with him in 2008, the Palins had some experience in getting something just for being a recognized name – the kids traveled at taxpayer expense to places where they did little or nothing to benefit Alaskans ; gifts were given to the family, to the governor, to the First Dude/Pimp; meals were comped ; benefits were expected.  

Selling themselves didn’t come as naturally to the Johnstons. Sadie was the first to cash in, selling a story to Star magazine and giving the rag a picture of her brother, father and nephew to go with it. Published in March, 2009, that article became the first shot fired in the war between the Palins and the Johnstons. Before that time, Bristol lied and said Levi was a hands on dad who saw his kid often and was “just as much in love” with Tripp as she was. Sarah lied and said the kids were “parenting their butts off” and that Levi and Bristol would be good parents. Then Sadie shot her mouth off, and it became an American hillbilly feud to rival the Hatfields and the McCoys. 

Bristol had possession of the big gun, and she aimed for the heart - no more grandma Sherry sitting for infant Tripp while Bristol went to school. Boom. Take that. The Johnstons staggered a few steps and regrouped. They weren’t working with an attorney or a “representative,” they were figuring it out for themselves.  The Tyra Banks Show won the Johnston family teary tell-all – an idea more likely to be hatched by Sadie than Levi – and the three of them told Tyra that they had no clue why they were being deprived of time with Tripp. Sherry was trying to get her “head around it.” No clue? Yeah, right. Simultaneously, the people of Alaska paid for the governor’s spokesperson to say that the Johnston’s were trying to profit from the Palin name. But, wait – there was no profit, they went on that show for free! So, the governor’s office corrected their earlier statement.

Ummm…  I made that last part up to see who’s still following this. Sarah Palin never admits she’s wrong.

The bottom line is, since April 2009, Tripp has been the money ticket for both his parents. Levi and Tripp appeared in GQ, Bristol and Tipp made the cover of People, Levi spilled it to Vanity Fair, Bristol put on ridiculously lavish gowns and  fake-baked cupcakes for Tripp. Levi stripped down, his sister followed his lead. Together  Bristol and Levi sold a story to a magazine and to television about their reconciliation and engagement, then kept mum about the second breakup long enough not to have to give back the money. This whole Palin/Johnston hillbilly feud is the only income Levi has, and it’s what Bristol has relied on for her very un-single-parent-like lifestyle.

I hope Levi is happy with his life, his girlfriend, his daughter, and his dog. That's a nice looking dog. Want to see that smaller picture blown up?  I'll put it below. Take a close look at the new Levi. Or is it the same old Levi, unmarried father-to-be, selling his story but not telling the story we want to hear. You know - THAT story. Maybe when the baby money fizzles he'll resort to that. But not while he can cash in as a spin off to Bristol and Tripp's reality show. Tripp's little sister Breeze is going to be another cutie.  Will Levi market her? Yup, you betcha. He already has.

It's kind of sad.