Track Palin, Levi Johnston, Ex-Lax, and an upcoming ELECTION

Laxative in a brownie. That’s national news? It depends. (Insert adult diaper joke here.)  It depends on the source of the story. If the dirt is coming from someone named Palin and the accused is a Johnston, then it’s definitely going to make the news. On the other hand, if it's just a prank committed by a Palin, no one in the media today would touch it.

I know this topic is quite literally old crap. But some stuff never goes away.  Bristol Palin has yet another stupid television thing in the works, and you know it's going to be all about dissing the father of her son Tripp. How do we know? Because in Palinland there is nothing new under the sun. Once a gimmick is concocted, it is used relentlessly. This "new" show is going to be just another publicity stunt that gives Bristol a stage to stick it to Levi over and over. Like she did in her high-school bitchy book.

One year ago the book penned by Nancy French for Bristol Palin was released and we were treated to “The Lies of Sarah Palin’s Daughter” in hardcover format. The June 2011 reports by USAToday and the Washington Post and plenty of other names in journalism used the same quotes from Bristol Palin’s memoir “Not Afraid of Life”: “[Levi] came to hockey practice drunk, he put Ex-Lax in some kid’s brownie, he got sent to the office.”  It’s pathetic that those bad boy behaviors of 2005 were deemed so important for the world to know that major news sources gave space to them. Kids have, do and will continue to show up on school property drunk. It’s high school.  It happens. High school kids will be sent to the office today – somewhere north of the Mason-Dixon line where school isn’t out yet. News? No. Ho hum.  

As for the  Ex-Lax caper, that was news at one time. National news? Of course not. Ron Wilmot wrote the article for the November 23, 2005 edition of the Anchorage Daily News.  His rendition differs from the one Bristol published six years after the fact. Under the  headline “Wasilla Suspends Team After Prank,” interested Alaskans read that:

Wasilla High administrators on Tuesday suspended the varsity hockey team from play for two weeks after players gave a teammate a cookie laced with laxatives during the team's road trip to Fairbanks last weekend.

"This fits our definition of hazing," said Wasilla High principle Dwight Probasco. "We have a very clear direction on hazing. Some may deem it as a prank, but we have zero tolerance on this."”

Mr. Wilmot never mentioned Levi Johnston nor any other person. The story says the whole team got suspended. That would have included junior Track Palin. Well, well, no surprise there.

Throughout Bristol’s book she calls Levi a “gnat” and  she holds up her brother Track as a shining example of what a real man should be. Typical Bristol style. No one who has paid attention to Bristol Palin’s interviews can believe a word she says. Truth is dispensable when Bristol goes looking for attention – her new chin is not the result of dental corrections, her son’s father would love to be in his life, she did not return home to Wasilla because she was done with Hollywood, she is not living an abstinent lifestyle, and her weight gain on Dancing With the Stars had nothing to do with playing basketball when she was 15.

Levi is much more believable. Levi was a freshman and admittedly he was a full-of-himself jerk at that time the brownie tampering took place. He doesn’t run from it, in “Deer in the Headlights” he talks openly about school year stupidity. Levi also implicated Track in the now-famous school bus vandalism incident, but then says he isn’t sure. It was rumor. What he didn’t put in the book is the laxative moment – but someone else told us about both incidents. Frank Bailey begins with the rumors that Track was involved with the vandalism of school property; he claims that Governor Palin emailed “a long list of contacts in radio, television and print media to discredit the story” to suggest the rumors came from her estranged brother-in-law Trooper Wooten.  This leads into Bailey’s recital of events in the above mentioned hazing. He says it followed about two weeks after the bus vandalism.  On 179 of “Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin” Bailey writes:

At one point, when older players on Track Palin’s hockey team put Ex-Lax in a younger player’s cookie as a prank and were disciplined, Sarah reacted by suggesting in a email to Todd and a small list of friends that “students can’t say ‘boo’ nowadays without getting in big trouble.” …Todd, in focusing his anger on the school’s administration, wrote, “I am having a hard time understanding the difference between a prank involving a cookie laced with ex-lax and a WHS coach using disgustingly abusive and intimidating tactics while calling WHS student a ‘f***ing a**hole.’”

The Washington Post called Levi a bully (they got that from Bristol’s tattle-taling book.). Nice, isn’t it, that Tripp will find that online some day? His mother should be ashamed of herself. And if anyone's a bully in this duo, it's the one who continually points out the shortcomings of the other to audiences day and night, coast to coast, in print, on the radio, on Jay Leno, to no-name interviewers in Christian broadcasting, and everywhere a door opens to her.

All this makes me think about Shailey Tripp - she wrote a memoir, too. In “Boys Will Be Boys” Shailey called Todd Palin a bully. She included documents that support her revelation that Todd Palin is a pimp. Hmmm, Ex-Lax versus latex condoms.  Hazing versus pimping. High school prank versus adult sex trafficking. Getting sent to the office versus escorting a US Secret Service agent assigned to protect a VP candidate into the massage parlor of a prostitute on your own payroll. What does it tell us that the Levi and Ex-Lax story was covered by the Washington Post, the Huffington Post and USA Today and the Todd Palin is a pimp story has yet to make any national headlines?

It says that American media is bought and paid for. The 2011 “news” about a few cookies in Alaska in 2005 wasn’t news. Anyone can see that it was advertisement. Advertisement for a book being published by HarperCollins during the time the company was still pushing Sarah Palin’s “America By Heart.”  HarperCollins, a subsidiary of News Corporation, describes itself as a “global vertically integrated media company founded by Rupert Murdoch.” Good old Rupert publishes not only Palin propaganda memoirs, but also publishes the New York Post and The Wall Street Journal, produces Fox News and more. So much more. They aren’t kidding when they say they are global. The latest news for the company has them infiltrating Disney. Hey, why not – much of what they produce has been doctored to the point where it’s more fairytale, folk lore, and myth. 

 And speaking of Disney, the Lifetime Network, home to Bristol's "Life's a Tripp" program, is co-owned by the multi-media monster Hearst Corporation and Disney Corporation.  These giants are like small town politicians - they are a small, tight group who run everything and can't be dislodged.  Got to give them credit for one thing, they can assemble an appropriate cast of characters.  Willow is supposed to be seen frequently in the show shot in Los Angeles and Wassilla.  Won't that be entertaining?

We have the Clinton Administration to thank for the Telecommunications Act of 1996 that made it possible for a handful of people to manipulate what we and our children learn about the world. We have a former corporate lawyer who made $1 million a year heading the Supreme Court that handed down the infamous Citizens United decision which declared money speech and defined corporations as people. It’s a sad time in the history of America. Real people with stories that matter, and yes, I’m referencing the Todd Palin running an interstate sex trafficking ring with ties to the Secret Service and the military – those people will not be published by corporations, or quoted, or have their stories told unless some global media corporation thinks it’s good for the bottom line. While the name Palin brings in the bucks, the Shaileys and Levis will remain little more than  blogger fodder.

The Wasilla Warriors Ex-Lax-capade not only gives us another example of media bias and Palin bullsh**, it leads to a frightening reality about the upcoming election.  The presidential race of 2012 will not be won by an election. The president who takes the oath in January 2013 will be put into office by public auction. The corporations and the 1% are secretly bidding while the media are serving as auctioneers who look out over the masses and pretend we are in the game, too.  In the end, they have made money, the highest bidders take the prize, and we, the audience, have been little more than entertained.

Remember the Ex-Lax lesson when you read or turn on the news covers this year’s candidates.

Discouraging, isn’t it?  I promise I’ll lighten things up here on Friday when I release the fourth chapter of “White Trash in the Snow.”