Chapter one, intimately introduced readers to Cristol Saplin and her boyfriend Wrangler Strauss, and they met her mother, the governor.
In chapter two, readers learned more about Cristol's parents, Tad Saplin and Rachael Heat Saplin, through glimpses into how they were raised, and their life together.
Chapter three provided a foundation for understanding why Cristol's mother can't stand Wrangler's mother Jerrie Strauss.
This chapter pulls back the covers and exposes secrets.
If this is your first reading of "White Trash in the Snow" you should be aware that these characters are not real, this is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. It is an original work, written by Allison, and published for the first time anywhere on the blog The Palin Place. All rights reserved.
Happy reading and have a great weekend!
White Trash in the Snow
by Allison
CHAPTER FOUR
“Herpes? It can’t be!”
Rachael was getting her an annual checkup from Doctor Abigail
Barton-Curtain, a long time friend and the Saplin family physician. Azzles
years ago had given the general practitioner the nickname “Dr. ABC the GP”
and over time it was shortened to Dr. ABC or, sometimes, just the three
letters.
During the exam, Dr. ABC tactfully asked about the obvious
cold sore on the mayor’s upper lip. In the doctor/patient exchange that
followed, Rachael Saplin learned to her horror, that the likely cause of the
reoccurring outbreaks was the human herpes virus 1, as opposed to 2 which the
doctor explained is responsible for most genital herpes infections. That led to another discussion.
After digesting the information, she thought she should
give some explanation for not having consulted her friend the doctor. “I just
thought it was, you know, one of those things that comes along with a cold and I
had a cold last week, well, it was a sore throat sort of thing, and so I didn’t
call you because I knew I had this appointment coming up also, too, so shoot,
it’s a good thing you caught this. Must have got it from Tad, you know, boys
will be boys.”
The doctor didn’t react. She scribbled away on a
prescription pad and professionally kept her eyes diverted while her patient
babbled on.
"God’s looking out for me, that’s for sure. He
used you to supply the answer to a problem I didn’t even know I had.
Man, it isn’t easy being mayor and everyone judging every flippin’ thing in
your life. You know?”
“I’m sure that’s difficult, Rachael,” Doctor Barton-Curtain
sympathized.
“You betcha. I have an image to maintain, so, give me the
shot, or whatever and let’s get rid of Tad’s gift.”
Dr. ABC tore the top
sheet off the little tablet and said, “There is no cure for HSV, but I can give
you this. It's a prescription for Zovorax. Taken as directed, it will reduce the number and length of your outbreaks.” Dr. ABC saw her friend’s eyes widen, and heard her gasp.
“No cure? Unflippin’ believable!” She looked angrily at the
doctor. Then, her scowl turned to a pout. “How could this have happened to me?”
she whimpered.
Dr. ABC understood that she was delivering a difficult
message for a woman with so much pride. All Rachael’s friends were very aware
that she was proud of her looks, proud
of her title, proud of her public service, proud to have birthed three babies.
In her meager not yet four decades on the planet she had achieved personal and public
successes beyond any reasonable expectations for someone with her intellect and
education. God
had blessed Rachael. It made her so proud.
So, the doctor spoke words of reassurance; words she would
have spoken to any patient hearing this diagnosis. “It’s a very common disease,
as many as 300 million Americans have HSV-1 or 2. And while I understand that
it can be distressing to learn that you’ve contracted herpes, it will become a relatively
small thing that you deal with occasionally, and this will help.” She handed
Rachael the script.
Zovorax became part of Rachael’s life, a little reminder
that life as Mrs. Tad Saplin hadn’t turned out the way she had expected. Her
husband’s blue-collar-rough-around-the-edges personality that she once found sexy
had become annoying and embarrassing after only a few years of wedded
unhappiness. Rachael wasn’t proud to be Tad’s wife and she wasn’t happy in the
marriage. Rachael confided to her friends and her mother that she and Tad
didn’t have a “normal marriage.” They hardly talked. When they did, it was with
raised voices. The marriage was a lonely place. Tad liked being alone. Rachael
hated it, which may have been a contributing factor to her having acquired a
lifelong viral infection.
At the time she had the unforgettable check up, Mayor Saplin
of Azzolla was having an affair with her husband’s friend and short-lived
business partner, Harley Branson. Tad and she spent little time together and
talked superficially, so it wasn’t difficult to keep him in the dark about her
extra-curricular activities. At first
she worried that herpes outbreaks would be a giveaway, but as weeks passed, she
relaxed and gave God credit for allowing outbreaks to erupt only when Tad was
away at work. It gave her one more thing
to feel proud about. I keep confessing my
sin to God and he keeps hiding my herpes.
It’s so cool to be forgiven.
Then, it happened. The tingle started on Tad’s first day
home. The second day the tenderness increased.
She doubled up on her antiviral pills. It didn’t matter. On Tad’s third
day off, a Sunday, she awoke with an obvious outbreak that makeup couldn’t
cover. She got through half the day before they had a face-to-face
conversation.
“What’s that sore on your lip? Is that what it looks like?”
Tad asked.
“Well, Tad, that depends. If it looks like a cold sore,
then yes, it is that which there are that come from having a cold.” She
grimaced at the awkwardness of her own response, and in contorting her mouth
she felt a painful reminder in a tender area on the right side of her upper
lip.
“I know herpes when I see it!” he growled, “And that,” he
pointed, "is herpes!”
She slapped his hand down and matched his accusatory tone, “I’ll
just bet you do, Tad.” They glared at each other. She wasn’t done. “I betcha
you know about both kinds of herpes, right, Tad?”
“There’s two
kinds? Oh, yeah, you mean… hey, wait a
minute!”
Oh no, now she’d
done it. In trying to turn the tables, she’d put herself in the position of
some kind of herpes expert. She began to
panic, afraid he would ask…
“Do you have both kinds?”
She didn’t answer, she walked away and let the slamming of
the bedroom door speak for her.
It didn’t take too many inquiries around town to narrow the
suspect list to one. Tad confronted Harley. The business closed down and the
Branson family left the state. Tad bought himself a comfortable recliner for
the living room and Rachael bought a large exercise machine for her bedroom.
Then, she had had another brief affair. Nothing very
romantic, it was a textbook classic – the workplace relationship gone too far.
Her inappropriate closeness to one of the City Councilmen began suddenly one
January evening and was over by the first of May. This time, Tad threatened her
with divorce. Rachael went to her mother for advice, and after Betty made her
look at the matter practically, she admitted that Tad was the one “making real
money” so Rachael begged him to stay and convinced him to accompany her to
counseling.
They went to a Christian family counselor, Rachael wouldn’t
see anyone who hadn’t been saved, and of course, they said that with prayer
cover from believers and their own honest efforts they should be able to go on
and have a good marriage in spite of having some issues in their past. Both Tad
and Rachael agreed to work on their marriage.
“Working on the marriage,” the counselor told them,
“includes making time for sex.” Rachael
hadn’t expected that from a Christian counselor, in fact that had been one of
the reasons she picked someone from the faith. Nevertheless, she made the effort,
and even aroused herself during their love making with the thought that she was
doing it for the money. Such a bad girl. And Tad, why he was paying for sex! Something about that bad boy image
appealed to Rachael. Sex with Tad was fun again.
In spite of odd and busy schedules, they managed
to get in the minimum weekly prescription of intercourse. In the process,
Rachael accidentally conceived a child.
The unplanned child was what Betty Heat called an “ooopsy
baby,” a name that Tad and Rachael became fond of and used while the baby was
in utero. “How’s our little Ooopsy?” Tad would ask when he’d return home. “Ooopsy’s
been kicking a lot today,” Rachael might reply. They became so comfortable with
the name, they thought they might name the child “Ooopsy Saplin.” They agreed
it would fit a boy or a girl.
Seven-year-old Maple thought the baby and the name were
wonderful. She told her friends at school, “I’m going to have a brother or
sister called Ooopsy!” The new second grade teacher scolded Maple and had her
stand in the corner for telling a fib. When the teacher’s contract was not
renewed the next year, the head of the teachers union came right out and told
her she’d made a big mistake when she had a Saplin spend ten minutes in the
corner. Fortunately for the fetus, the Saplins entertained some other
gender-neutral names and ended up calling their third daughter Pride.
Rachael took a few weeks off from her job as mayor, then
went back to her usual routine. The baby spent mornings, day after day in a baby carrier looking up at the
underside of a desk in the Azzolla Town Hall. In the afternoon she would be delivered to her
grandmother Betty so that Rachael could get back to tanning and take long naps.
New motherhood had become old hat to Rachael. Pride’s essential needs were met,
but little more.
Tad had hoped for a boy, but once he cradled his third little
girl in his arms, he wouldn’t have changed a thing about her. Still, he held
out hope that his wife might agree to have a fifth child, especially if,
somehow, they could figure out how to conceive a boy. That dream was shot down
one day when Rachael came into the room while he was swaddling three month old
Pride and warned, “Better enjoy that baby. I’m too old for this. Next week I’m
getting my tubes tied.” And she did. Neither of them said anything, but they
felt differently about sex after that, and they began sleeping apart once
again.
Five years later, when Wrangler Strauss began dating
Cristol, the young man wondered why and how the governor and her husband had
even had four children. It appeared to him that they never talked, let alone
touched. The affects shown throughout the household. Life at the Saplins was
full of chaos and stress and void of compassion and warmth. Cristol told him it
had always been like that, except that since her mom began working in the
capital it was “ten times worse.”
It wasn’t and exaggeration. At the mansion after the day
workers went home, there was a lot of yelling. Rachael and Tad were, once
again, in need of marital counseling, and the children’s interactions with them
and each other could have been scripted by the writers of “The Family Guy” or
“South Park.”
The four children were remarkable only in
problematic ways; Field had identity and aggression issues, Cristol was
insecure and a dullard, Maple was arrogant and rude, Pride was spoiled. The
older ones and their friends spent weekends in group activities, picking from a
smorgasbord of opportunities both good and bad: drinking, drugs, sex,
shoplifting, and vandalism fell into the latter category while shopping,
hanging out, hiking, camping, fishing and hunting, and going to the movies were
primary activities of the former.
By May 2007, Field, Cristol and Maple were thrilled to be
back in Azzolla for the summer and minus parental supervision for weeks at a
time. They prepared to gorge themselves with mischief and merrymaking.
The Governor and Tad didn’t realize how deeply their kids
were involved with risky behavior. They were distracted by the duties of the
Governor’s office. Tad was, in reality, a co-governor with Rachael. Some called
him “The Shadow.” He attended official meetings, was copied on official
email, made quasi-official requests, and had input into policy.
An issue as big as any concern the Governor’s Office wrestled
with that summer was the dating life of a member of the
governor’s staff. A public employee, and a once-trusted member of Rachael
Saplin’s high school inner circle, he’d been dismissed over the Fourth of July
weekend when the governor heard that this man was dating the ex-wife of a Saplin
friend and supporter. The week following the abrupt firing, Rachael was working out of the
satellite office in Azzolla and accidentally learned that the man had already found a job with
a lobbyist. She’d issued orders to Tad, “Call up and tell ‘em the governor
isn’t happy that they hired that impotent, limp noodle. Tell ‘em I expect
they’ll have the cojones to do the right thing. Make sure they understand.”
Rummaging through papers on her desk to give Tad the lobbyist’s
phone number, she mumbled “Bob has a lot of nerve to call himself a Christian, him
breaking up a marriage and all. And they have kids, also!” If she meant to give Tad a reason to get involved, she needn't have bothered. He didn’t
need one. He joined in looking for the number, anxious to make the call for his own satisfaction. It
wasn’t the adultery that offended him, though he had the momentarily satisfying
thought that maybe Bob would contract herpes or something. Anyway, the truth
was, Tad simply never liked Bob. He didn’t like any of the men who worshiped
his wife. What husband would?
“Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” Rachael quoted.
Tad
wasn’t in the mood for her God-speak. He wanted to get onto that call.
“Now you are the Lord, Rachael? I know how you
like titles, but come on."
“Shut up, Tad!” she said. Momentarily stopping her search,
she straightened up and put her hands on her hips. “I’m a servant of the Lord,” she explained. “And you’re not. If you had
been raised in a real church, like I was, you would understand these things.”
That did it. He was ready for a good argument. “Well, I don't understand. And, here’s a
question for you. If God is love, like it says on that poster you stuck on the refrigerator to impress company, then how can loving someone be wrong? I don't like Bob, but …”
She held up a palm. “God’s ways are higher than ours. Don’t
try to confuse me with reason.”
“Try? I don’t have to try…”
Tad spotted the paper with the number. He grabbed it and
left the room. Behind him he heard her ask, “What do you mean by that?” He didn't bother to answer.
Tad could be intimidating. He liked to bully “the lesser
people.” That afternoon, he was especially nasty when he made the call to the
lobbyist. That will teach Bob not to mess
around with the governor’s office,
he thought.
That same day, while Tad and Rachael conspired to penalize
a grown man for his relationship choices, Cristol and Wrangler were in her family’s remote
cabin making relationship choices of their own. Her parents, had no idea where the kids were. It hadn't crossed their minds.
Ironically, while Tad was forcefully delivering his message, Wrangler was putting a lot of energy into his delivery, too. It would be hard to say which of them was the more satisfied when they were through. Wrangler and Cristol, however, fell blissfully asleep in each other's arms, but Tad and Rachael returned home separately, with Tad taking a detour to handle personal business before going home.
Ironically, while Tad was forcefully delivering his message, Wrangler was putting a lot of energy into his delivery, too. It would be hard to say which of them was the more satisfied when they were through. Wrangler and Cristol, however, fell blissfully asleep in each other's arms, but Tad and Rachael returned home separately, with Tad taking a detour to handle personal business before going home.
That night, in bed alone, Rachael reached into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out her journal. Keeping a diary was a ritual she's held onto since junior high. It made her feel like she was putting her college work to some use. She clicked the pen and began to write:
So disappointed in Bob. Thought he was a Christian. Now he’s backslidden. So foolish!!!!
So disappointed in Bob. Thought he was a Christian. Now he’s backslidden. So foolish!!!!
That took care of the day's business events; she started a new paragraph about
the family:
Midnight and such a lovely night. Pride staying over at Mom and Dad’s. F, C, and M are all out with friends having fun. Tad went for another massage this afternoon. Says it really helps him relax after a day like this one. I think I should get a massage myself sometime.
Midnight and such a lovely night. Pride staying over at Mom and Dad’s. F, C, and M are all out with friends having fun. Tad went for another massage this afternoon. Says it really helps him relax after a day like this one. I think I should get a massage myself sometime.
10 comments:
LOL Dumb troll @ 5:18AM still doesn't get it. Thanks for the laugh you stupid idiot.
Good work Allison! I laughed a lot. It's like reading non-fiction! So close to reality.
troll at #1 - too funny that you think they are more behaved than the average citizen
I'm sure you really believe that.
Allison - TY - keep going - sincerely
I am really enjoying this, Allison. You are a very talented writer. The way you are introducing and developing the "characters" (LOL) is truly brilliant!
I hate having to wait to read on Fridays but at the same time it would be so depressing to sit and devour it all in a day and then have nothing to look forward to!
I felt this way after finishing Nicolle Wallace's two "fictional" books, too LOL.
Enjoy your weekend, I'll be back for more!
JillyG
Excellent Allison. Have to tell you, I was so upset by that obnoxious troll yesterday that I almost didn't come to read the new chapter. Her rhetoric is so disgusting. Is there anyway you can delete her crap? She is not going to stop and it just takes away any dialog. I believe you and IM are the only ones allowing her thru now. She's even banned from the Palin's blogs and Facebook's. Since we are all banned from writing on their blogs, I see no reason why we should be subjected to her hate here. I know, I know, freedom of speech, but this person is so hateful and needs psychological help. She is a stalker. She is obsessed with Bristol and I am sick and tired of her interfering with your blog.
Thanks.
Mrsgnka
Mrs Gunka I deleted Troll comments at your request. She is tiresome, I agree.
Thank you Allison! Sorry I didn't get back sooner, but life is busy. She is so distracting to all the good things you bring us. She won't change! If others want her back, I understand. My blood pressure can't take her. Again thanks.
Another hilarious chapter in the life of the Saplin family! Thanks for the laughs, Allison. I look forward to reading more and the way this family is turning out, these stories could go on forever...LOL!
That was very entertaining and so funny too. Thanks Allison. Keep it up - your writing is fantastic! Those Saplin's are such characters.
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